If you offered me Crysis today, I’d most definitely have to turn you down.
Why? Because having a game that I have no chance of playing on would annoy me solidly for however long it took for me to get a new PC. I’ve had this computer gracing this room with its rather loud fan and sporadic clunking noises for about six years now, it’s too old to run Oblivion but for some odd reason Morrowind won’t even work with it anymore.
More frustratingly, however, is that it’s too ‘new’ to play all the old classics.
Such classics would be games such as Monkey Island, Broken Sword, and the Indiana Jones adventure/puzzle games. You could not seriously consider yourself a gamer until you’d completed any one of these games without any form of assistance (mainly because they’re not THAT difficult). In a surge of nostalgia I decided that I wanted to play The Secret of Monkey Island one more time, just for kicks. But egad!! DOS commands? Floppy Disks? Such technology comfounded my computer and left it clunking more than usual. Naturally I felt disappointed that I would no longer be able to see the early exploits of Guybrush Threepwood and Co.
But then I discovered Scumm VM. Now I’ve installed all of my old games, and I’m as giddy as a five year old while I’m solving puzzles the old-fashioned way, verbal context menus and point-and-click.
So, Mr. Alienware, you can keep your crysis. I’ve got some grog to drink and a date with a giant monkey head.